Editor’s note: Xander is otherwise occupied so I will be writing the column this week. Your original, limey author should be back and raving about Arsenal in a week. Also, I’d like to welcome all the new Footy Fetish Show listeners to the Womb. Your Footy Fetish hosts will be commenting and discussing everything we don’t get to voice during the show in the comments so do participate if you love the sport and/or play fantasy football. Also included in each week’s column will be an injury and suspension list as well as general tips. On with it then.

Let’s begin by reviewing the past week’s games, and following Xander’s lead, we’ll begin with Arsenal. The Gunners made up their game in hand this past week by playing twice, first against Wigan and today against Newcastle. They won the Wigan game 2-0 but lost Hleb shortly after (though he was injured during international duty in the Belarus-Holland game). Hleb will be out for three weeks and, I imagine, sorely missed. Today’s Newcastle game was the perfect change to move six point clear of Manchester United in second place and, sadly, we stuffed the chance. A 1-1 draw sees the Gunners maintain the position atop the League (with a four point buffer) but without the cushion that Wenger so dearly desired. The usually flamboyant Gunners were a little out of sorts today but still managed to snatch the lead through a magnificent volley off of Adebayor’s boots. Newcastle put in a battling display, however, and deservedly clawed back a point thanks to local boy, Steven Taylor. A good match all in all that even had Adebayor and Rosicky engaging in a little lovers spat.

Once again, the top of the league is populated with the big four teams, namely Arsenal, Man U, Chelsea and Liverpool (in that order). Liverpool still have a game in hand. Speaking of, Liverpool absolutely demolished a weak Bolton side 4-0 last weekend courtesy of goals from Gerrard (2), Torres & Babel. Bolton’s match was best described by striker Anelka’s (a former Gunner) atrocious fluff at goal in front of an open net. Rafa’s spa with the club owners seems to be abating. Let’s hope so, bad things happen when the manager and owner don’t get along, ask Chelsea.

Ferguson is fuming as usual at Ronaldo’s booking for diving in their game against Fulham. I didn’t see the game so I can’t make my own call but the Portuguese striker has been known to, umm, fall easily, from time to time. Regardless, Happy Feet did score a brace to push the Mancs to a comfortable win.

Chelsea have been playing relatively well under their new manager, Grant. A messy affair with fouls and scraps a-plenty, they nevertheless came away from their West Ham match with a win, Joe Cole tapping in the late goal. I used to watch Chelsea play whenever possible, attributing my excitement to their roster (Drogba, Lampard, Terry, Ballack, Schevy, etc.). Lately, though, I couldn’t really care less. The implication: I was more fond of Mourinho than anything else. Regardless of the strong reactions the man drew from various fans and coaches, there is no doubt he brought some hot-curry-flavor to the League. There was a rumor Malouda was unhappy at Chelsea but the player has responded by saying his words were taken out of context. Bah, French players, always fiddling with words … and cheese … and wine. Also note, Drogba is out injured and will be admitted to hospital on Monday and/or Tuesday with severe swelling of the knee. I oft get severe swelling when faced with certain situations, though the location is admittedly elsewhere and for different reasons. Jokes aside, the Ivorian will miss the Sunday game against Sunderland.

Those are all the games I managed to follow. I did catch a few glimpses of the Reading-Middlesbrough draw (1-1) but I rightfully switched channels. Apparently the game was an absolute illicit-sedative.

With regards to Fantasy Football and the Footy Fetish show, there are a host of injuries and suspensions. Players currently suspended are shown HERE. Players that will begin suspension are shown HERE.

Finally, could someone please let the FA know that Mourinho is available to coach England and has been dropping hints for a proper two weeks now. Brits might not fancy the man, but he is uniquely qualified to take over the reigns and could certainly do better than that sod McClaren.

That’s it from me, I’ll see you boys and girls in the comments!

FOOTY FETISH SHOW SUMMARY (courtesy of BennyBoy):

For a list of injuries, click HERE.

For a list of suspended players, click HERE.

For a list of players to be suspended, click HERE.

Tune in to the show by visiting AceRadioLive’s page HERE. Simple instructions on how the navigate the page and use the player below are HERE.

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