I, as a Westerner, really dont see the HUGE issue with arranged marriages… unless ofcourse you didnt pick him.. but think about it.. if you’re a nasty looking woman, at least you’ll get a man.

I simply don’t think that is possible. It may not be ideal for everyone, but certainly, in some situations, arranged marriage is the best alternative.

I hear you. My mum is Asian – half Dutch, half Indonesian – and in her family too, one wasnt supposed to even think about boys until one was finished with university. She however, hasnt approached me about marriage yet. My dad did however ask me to walk in front of the royal palace a few times in the hope that maybe a rich guy would snag me and relieve him of his financial duties

I realise an arranged marriage doesnt mean one loves another. However i have heard many of my friends say “i’ll learn to love him” While this isnt for me, it SEEMS to have worked for them. In arranged marriage “proposals” a man can easily walk up to the girl’s parents and indicate an interest. In Western culture, or at least in my world, that guy would be shot on the spot initially…

nice to hear from an insider male though

As for me, my nature is to be against everything, and if someone tries to force their will upon me, I’ll do the opposite, simply out of principle.

That said, while I never had an arranged marriage. My parents, or rather, my mom, came to me after I graduated and asked “So when are you getting married?” This was immediately after not supposing to date while in high school and college because education is more important. Needlessly to say, I nearly walked out of that restaurant.

She knows better now. Don’t question me until I’m thirty.

As for choice, if you marry someone, it should be for the right reasons, and the reasons are right, there shouldn’t be any questions of “Did I marry the right person?”

A friend of mine’s dad once told him, “Don’t marry a woman you can live with, marry one you can’t live without.” I hold that to be true, not just for men, but also for women. If you marry someone who you truly and honestly love, and who loves you, and both understand their own minds, and comfortable in their own skins, there wouldn’t be a problem.

Arranged marriage is not good for ANYBODY.

The reason people didn’t get divorced in the old days wasn’t because they loved each other. It was because it was a cultural taboo to get divorced.

Just because a couple is married doesn’t mean they love each other.

I agree with Masolas – its the choice matter. Maybe that’s why arranged marriages are such a good idea (i know in a way i wouldnt mind taking my pick of a few eligible men). Too much choice and options leaves you with wondering if another choice would have been better.

I figure we need to wait till at least 30. That way we got all the “testing” out of the way and we can be happier with the choice we make. Getting married at 18 is just crazy. What do you really know at 18?.. then again.. my grandparents were married at 17 and 18.. after only meeting a month earlier – World War One probably hasted that idea. They were married for over 50 years though…

Repression? Yes.

I’m not saying it’s wrong. It’s human nature.

But what it came from, and it relates to what a lot of people are saying about marriage now.

What is marriage? Is it sacred, spiritual? Are we destroying the sanctity of marriage by our modern heathen ways?

No, marriage was always about class and about power. Kings and queens married for political alliances, not because they were so in love. The same went on in Indian cultures.

“The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggle.”

Getting off topic though.

Now, whether or not the other religions were originally designed with good intentions is a whole different story.