Editor’s note: First, I’d like to introduce a new column called Anecdotal Evidence to the Womb which will encompass user experiences of the world at large as supporting evidence for their topic. So, if you repeatedly stub your big toe on a series of doors over two weeks and consequently write about it, theorizing all doors are inherently evil, we’d throw the article under this column. Second, let me introduce my illustrious partner and the brain behind the Womb’s plumbing, Rez, who starts out wondering what happened to common decency, respect for elders and civility in general.
I get off the subway and look around disoriented. Which station am I at again? Oh yeah … Bathurst. Shouldn’t have smoked that joint earlier. I walk up the steps near the east end of the platform. I’m usually right on top of this stuff. I’ve ridden the TTC (editor’s note: Toronto Transit Commission) long enough to know which car to be on to get out right in front of the exit of my destination. It’s fun knowing that you know your home so well.
Toronto used to be well known for it’s friendly, courteous pedestrians. Most foreigners will tell you they love it here because of the people. We’re generally too polite, to the point of annoyance.
“Hey sir, do you know how to get to Union Station?”
“Sure dude, hop on my back, eh? I’ll piggy-back ya!“
I notice a girl standing on the platform in those silly yoga clothes. Like she’s dressed for a yoga convention and wants to show off her … um, spirituality. Clones, man, everywhere! It’s like those old GAP commercials where everyone is wearing the exact same thing. It reminds me of the Borg.
“You will be assimilated [due to your pathetic desire to fit in].”
I take a moment to feel pity for her stupidity and then notice she’s carrying a hell of a lot of stuff. A backpack, a yoga mat, a lunch pack, some random shopping bags, her purse, and finally, clutched in one had, her cell phone. Expecting a call there missy? No pockets in those TNA pants, eh?
Our bus pulls up and I hop on to find a comfortable spot. Not too far back to get bumped and jostled constantly by the inevitable overflow of patrons, but not too far forward that I have to vacate the seat for the elderly or their more evil counterparts, the expectant mothers. Yoga girl gets on the bus and sits a few seats away from me. This does wonders for my ego as I’m incredibly insecure.
An older man of Arabic heritage then sits next to me between Yoga Girl and I. He’s probably 65-70, smells like ointments, wears a lot of beige and looks a lot like my grandfather. His glasses are so thick they distort the light that comes through them. I amuse myself for a bit by looking at people’s faces through his lenses as they get on the bus.
Yoga girl’s carrying a hell of a lot of stuff. Too much for her in fact. The bus lurches forward, as though the driver is trying to punish those who aren’t holding onto something. Yoga girl’s paraphernalia slips out of her hands and falls all over the floor in front of her and Grandpa. Grandpa does the unexpected. He gets up cautiously, holding the handles of the bus, and reaches out to help Yoga girl retrieve her entire life from the floor. He gets her cell phone which has lost it’s cover and battery, reassembles it and gently hands it to her saying,
“Here you are”
in a gloriously thick accent. Now … here’s the “TSN* turning point” of the story.
Does Yoga girl:
A) plant a big fat kiss on Grandpa
B) courteously say thank you with a smile and collect her shit in her lap
C) shrug and flip her hair nonchalantly, murmuring thanks, through clenched teeth and a frown
C) is correct. Funny how a girl I once thought was reasonably cute and almost endearing in her oblivion, can suddenly become utterly disgusting in a split second. I felt a sudden urge to stand up in front of her, slap her across the face and scream,
“BITCH! Grandpa just got off his rotting ass to pick up your shit!? He didn’t need to do that! He’s being a good samaritan, he’s a boy scout doing a good deed! He’s a goddamn genius for being able to reassemble your cell phone at his age!”
That would probably get me incarcerated though … not the best way to change the world. So I wrote this article instead.
*Television Sports Network
Popularity: 22% [?]
Goes along with holding the door open for people (women, elderly, whatever). At first I thought people just don’t give two shits. But then I considered people might just be so shy as not to get involved in anything outside their own personal, personal space/life. Courtesy, politness even humor, it’s all changing.
My guess would be her reaction had nothing to do with the man being Arabic, but rather she just lost all her shit on a moving bus. Maybe she was having a really hectic and rough day, and this is just something else on top of that.
Furthermore, just because a girl is reasonably cute and almost endearing doesn’t mean she doesn’t have problems. Every girl has problems. Every guy has problems, too.
Just because someone doesn’t react with a cheery “Oh, thank you!” doesn’t mean they’re assholes. More than likely, it means they’re just ordinary people who have other shit that’s on their mind.
So, let’s step back: She’s carrying a backpack, a yoga mat, a lunch pack, a shopping bag, some shopping bags, her purse, and a cellphone.
The purse and the cellphone is a given. The backpack, yoga mat, and lunch pack implies she’s a) in school b) going to the gym/working out/whatever c) either trying to eat well or not rich enough to eat out every day. So, she’s a busy person. Add the shopping bags, and given that it’s being done in the middle of a busy day, my guess would be groceries, for either a) eating healthy or b) saving some money. All together, carrying a lot of stuff with her, she’s going to have a lot on her mind, and walking around with a cheery smile isn’t on the top of her list.
Now, lastly, why is it that you assume that someone who’s dressed in silly yoga clothes is trying to be like everyone else and be spiritual? Ever think, maybe people wear silly yoga clothes because they do practice yoga, and the reason they practice yoga is because yoga actually IS extremely beneficial for the body and the mind, even more so as a stress relief … you know, something which helps people who are otherwise extremely busy people (for example, working students who would rather spend their time staying in shape than walking around town stoned).
You make some excellent points Gonzo. But you weren’t there. She was clearly afraid of getting cooties and was being totally snooty. I just find it sad that people are scared of each other these days and are so protective of their personal space.
Sure, maybe she was having a rough day. Does that give everyone an excuse for not showing common courtesy anymore? If someone pisses in your corn flakes, do you take it out on the rest of the world, especially those who try to offer a helping hand?
So Gonzo, are you actually defending the indifferent, apathetic, self-absorbed attitude bred by our generation?
I concede your point about her trying to fit in though. Maybe she is really into yoga. Nine times out of ten the girls wearing the lulemon or TNA pants are just trying to show off their ass(ets). From my educated guess, maybe 10% of the ladies wearing the gear actually do practice yoga, so I’m making a martyr out of her
I do agree that the majority of society these days has become inconsiderate. I do believe however that more than often we when judge others we do so without having an understanding of the entire picture.
No, having a rough day is not an excuse for a lack of common courtesy, but it -is- a reason. Furthermore, most people are not self-aware enough to recognize, while in the act of being rude, that they are being rude, or even more, so, that they are being rude for unrelated reasons. They might later on, but by then, the moment will have passed.
What I’m saying is we can’t presume someone does not normally practice common courtesy simply because of a short and minor event, but then again, I recognize that this an article regarding anecdotal evidence and not a scientific thesis …
She was carrying a yoga mat, so I presume she actually practiced it. Now, if she actually walked around in a yoga outfit, carrying a yoga mat, without actually practicing it, that’s a completely different story.
On a minor sidenote, even if someone starts yoga in order to be cool or fit in, if the end result is betterment of their life or a reduction in stress, what’s the problem? I know that I for one haven’t exactly done everything with the best, most ideal reason in mind, yet, even so, the things I have done which made no rational sense at the time, were the things that affected me deeply, and changed my life deeply, for the better.
EVERYBODY tries to fit in. It’s human nature. Ever look at the punks, goths, metalheads, who aspire to be different, to be unique, to be their own individual person? They all dress the same. They all listen to the same music. They all mimic each other in an attempt to be different from the rest of the world. (I was one of them.)
As for the 90% of girls who wear tight pants to show off their asses, more power to ‘em. I, for one, am not complaining.
Gonzo. I’m not judging a poor innocent girl. I’m not saying Yoga Girl doesn’t practice common courtesy. I’m writing an article about the fact that I feel the majority of society has become self-absorbed and rude in general. Yoga girl is the unfortunate example because she displayed the symptom that I wanted to write about.
You’re right, everyone tries to fit in due to human nature. The weakest follow, the strongest lead by setting the example others will follow. Being a visible minority in a predominantly white society, I have grown up being segregated and wasting my time trying to “fit in”. I find it pathetic. Just my opinion.
I’ll send you an essay I wrote called “Let’s all be individuals together”. You might enjoy it. Actually, I might post it and we can discuss.
Yeah, put that essay up here…It’d be cool.