Some time ago (in THIS article) I commented on a BBC article that stated research proved the average condom was too large for the average Indian male. That was back in December 06. Courtesy of a BBC widget on their front page (that lets you see the top five most read articles each day), I’ve been keeping track of the popularity of this article. Over the last five months it has repeatedly been in the top 5. Today after a gap of about two months it has returned. Now what the bleeding hell does this say about the BBC’s readers? They’re either all Indians with a penis-complex, scores of Pakistanis looking for excuse to finally trump an Indian or the just the general public with a strange affliction for details about the desi male’s genitalia.

If the latter is true, I’ll volunteer to dispel the myth/put the issue to bed/get off. Any lovely ladies who want to find out firsthand need only get in touch with me and we’ll set up a meet. Gay men be sure to find a female representative if you’re curious. Naturally the contestant will have a good deal of work on her hands (ah-me-so-clever) in getting the organ to its optimum state prior to measurement.

If you’re Pakistani let me say this: even if Indians do have small penises please don’t forget there are about 500 million of them in India. Being dick-slapped by one large penis is bad enough so imagine being dick-slapped by 500 million willies. Tempting.

And finally if you’re an Indian male with a penis-complex, just flipping relax. We are the most potent and fertile race in the history of this planet and whether a woman likes it big or small is irrelevant because inevitably, within the next 50 years, every female on Earth will have been humped by an Indian. That sort of potential has got to make the little (large?) fella happy.

Stiffly yours, 5cents

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