For those who haven’t heard Ace Radio Live, I’ll start with a small introduction. Ace Radio Live (ARL henceforth) is a small independent pirate radio station that broadcasts over the internet. They can be found broadcasting here or contacted via their Myspace page here. Every Wednesday, they have a live show with interviews, guest speakers and opportunities to win prizes especially if you are of the female variety. You can also call in to the show. I’m a regular guest on the show and the DJs are always giving me advice on something or the other (usually involving my bouts with impotence or obsession with white women). Why, you may be asking, do I support a radio station that plays alternative music, given my musical tastes lie elsewhere (or alternatively, you may be asking why I have bouts of impotence, but we’ll leave that for a later article).

Well it has everything to do with the type of station ARL is. ARL’s primary mission is to promote and give air-time to Myspace and other indie bands that are looking to make it big. They find the artists/groups, develop a relationship, give them air-time and let the music talk from there. There are ads, no overriding commercial interests and no fucking mainstream bullshit. They broadcast 24/7 but the Wednesday show is the weekly highlight.

I’ve personally met the two lead DJs, WindJunkie and Benny Boy, both of whom are stand up guys with a rather kinky sense of humor and awesome taste in music. They are more than willing to play requests as long as it’s a Myspace or Indie band/group.

WindJunkie is a 60ish mid-30 year old with an unsettling affinity for young girls, slow cars and Myspace. Somehow, during regular hours, he is an aerospace engineer with a real job, but I can wholly vouch for dirty bastard he turns into when riding a wave of too much tequila and sodding-crap-pseudo-Cuban cigars. All this while looking like a right angel.

Benny Boy likes to think of himself as Latin Stallion but ends up as more of a South American Pony. You know, they look like horses from afar, but up close everything is smaller than it should be… everything apparently. Of course, having said that, tomorrow morning I’ll probably be paid a visit by some Latino cartel wanting to talk “business.” I’m sure it’ll be a pleasant visit. All jokes aside, Benny Boy is one hell of a guy, has fucking awesome taste in the only type of alternative I can stand (ska or anything with reggae elements) and has given me the type of advice only a father who wants to see his son grow up to be the best gigolo on the south end of Las Olas beach can. For that I am eternally grateful and forever scarred…. assuming such emotions are combinable.

The third member of the ARL team is Pooh girl. Since I haven’t met her personally, I can only guess that Pooh girl is afflicted by chronic diarrhea.

Their latest contests involve designing their the new station logo and the chance to become infamous if you send them a picture wearing their new tank tops (with ARL logo, ladies only but I suppose a sufficiently effeminate fella could try out). I’ve heard talk of a contest to win a date with a porn-star although I’m sure she will be a mexican midget with a syphilis-herpes hybrid disease and crabs the size of Brasil.

So, listen in and you might be turned onto something new. You can contact them on AIM, handle “AceRadioLive.” Definitely catch their wednesday show (starts at 9pm) if you’ve got nothing better to do or if the spouse/significant-other wont shut the fuck up about dirty laundry/the toilet seat/smoking/drinking/plumbers.

Peace like axle grease. Gooey and hard to get off yer hands then…

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