For those that missed my summer observations, here is the famous treatise on Indian dogs (with some updates to make it sit better in the current context) for your enjoyment.
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I’ve been in India for about a month and a half now and to continue my observations from a previous blog entry:

There are infinitely many pariah dogs in Bombay/Mumbai and in India in general. You see them everywhere, in the city, the country (although less so) usually in packs. It pretty amazing because they have pack structure just like in the wild with an alpha male (in most cases) leading the pack, several females in his harem and clearly demarcated territory. Their territory can vary from several blocks to a single housing community or even that bench on the corner.

Where did the dogs come from originally? I’m not sure but I’ll speculate. When the Brits (those limey bastards) were here, they brought over several of their customs to keep them feeling at home in what appeared to be a mosquito infested jungle (with lots of gold, diamonds, tea, spices and cheap labor). One of said customs was the habit of keeping pets, in this case, the dog. Two factors come into play now:

1) The Brits themselves wouldn’t take care of the dogs while here, their servants would, naturally.

2) Since dogs aren’t especially revered in India (as opposed to say the cow), the servants didn’t really give a damn what happened to these *firangi* dogs. (editors note: *firangi* is Hindi for foreigner)

As a result, the dogs started doing the nasty-nasty amongst themselves and before you can say “The-Brits-Oppress-My-People”, we’ve now got a breeding population, furthermore, one that is rapidly increasing in true Indian fashion.

A little tangent here, I think its the sultry weather and the hot food that makes all sexual activity so potent in India. For references, see my ex-girlfriends, hah!

With an ever growing population of dogs, many are bound to be left to fend for themselves. This further increases the chances of nasty-nasty amongst themselves, escalating the rate of population growth. Thus begins the cycle of domesticated dogs returning to a semi-wild or urban-wild environment, if you will (I know, oxymoron). With the British leaving India in the late 1940’s, the trend is complete and semi-domesticated dogs that take care of themselves abound in the cities and countryside. Since Indian people haven’t picked up on the whole “Get a Pet” thing like the Brits, no effort is made to bring these dogs back into the fold (either by “adopting” them or extermination).

And here we arrive in the present. Most cities have rather vibrant communities of dog, all of them mutts, yet displaying certain qualities of pure-breeds such as the spots of a Dalmatian or the rugged brown coat of German Shepherds. Again, displaying true Indian character, they are all shorties (and by that I mean short in height and no other fashion).

Every time I visited India during my childhood, I would adopt a dog and feed it for the duration of my holiday. Since I wasn’t allowed to ever have a pet by my parents, this became my only experience of “having a dog.” I always came up with clever names for them such as: Blackie, Brownie or even Furry. This is testament to my intellect

And finally, why you ask, have I done this rather exhaustive (well, maybe not) study into feral dogs in my city? The answer is simple. Every monsoon, all the bitches come into heat (bitches being a technical term here, not at all in the same vein as Rick James’ “bitches”). This results in several sightings of male and female dogs (bitches, as we established earlier) conjoined at the crotch in the throes of sexual activity (do dogs have crotches?). And no matter how many times I see animal antics such as this on National Geographic, it’s still side-splittingly hilarious and faintly arousing (is that wrong?). I think the Kama Sutra was written by a dog owner. They have positions that would put a small communist Chinese acrobat to shame. So what’s the moral of this story?

Well, I am constantly reminded by my surroundings that the feral dogs of India are getting more tail than I am. Low!

One love all!

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